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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24188689">Love in the Time of Extremely Uncool Bad Shit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/comradeocean/pseuds/comradeocean'>comradeocean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Never Have I Ever (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Coronavirus, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Multi, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:22:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,196</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24188689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/comradeocean/pseuds/comradeocean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The zoomer climate Maoist How-I-Met-Your-Mother-esque coronavirus AU everyone was demanding.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar, Paxton Hall-Yoshida/Devi Vishwakumar, Paxton Hall-Yoshida/Zoe Maytag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paxton Hall-Yoshida didn't plan to spend his 20s being the top aquatic gunrunner for his girlfriend, his other girlfriend, her husband, and their twenty-six member paramilitary cell. But life's exciting that way. Hi, that's Paxton H-Y in an underground bunker burping his niece, and this is the crazy story of how he found and lost his groove a bunch of times, almost went to the Olympics, and stole Devi Vishwakumar's heart (and a lot of guns).</p><p>☭☭☭☭☭</p><p>It all started in 1893 when two upper-middle Chinese peasants gave birth to a son. And a book written by the grandson of a Colombian Colonel in 1985 was pivotal, not to mention certain theories of ungovernability that can be credited to, amongst others, a professor of philosophy from the village of Tambo 1000 miles from Lima. In any case, many ships sailed, bats flew, and genes mutated for history to be unwound to this particular turning point on the evening of August 15, 2019, when swim practice ended early at a suburban high school in the San Fernando valley, but Paxton Hall-Yoshida was being delayed from his customary snack. </p><p>Edamame trail-mix. A fresh batch that his grandfather made, waiting for him in the glove compartment. </p><p>The glycogen window was closing and Paxton thought about suggesting a walk-n-talk. But my-name-is-Devi-would-you-consider-having-sex-with-me was in full-fledged word vomit and he'd seen the fallout when theatre kid types got interrupted. </p><p>Quicker to let nature take its course. Safer too probably.</p><p>She finished panicking. He agreed to the details. And they shook on it. Why not? Devi was cute. She had spunk. She'd been paralyzed. She was a sophomore. Paxton didn't want to discriminate. He was an equal-opportunity sex haver. He had a lot of sex; it seemed to help with his swimming. It was all good. </p><p>Not exactly, as it turned out. Because they didn't actually end up having sex, like ever. </p><p>Instead, she kept running off. And he got forced into introducing her to Becca. There was the whole coyote reincarnation thing, but that was kinda cool. Then Devi announced they were boning to the entire nerd population of Southern California. This wouldn't even have mattered except for the fact that, included in the demographic, was his own cousin Marty. </p><p>
  <i>("Dude, you're at UCLA. Why do you even care?" </i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Paxton, this degree of social capital mobility is unheard of in post-war American adolescence. This is the kind of shit they make blockbusters out of. Or 2 season Netflix comedy-dramas. When my people level up. I level up. Accept existence or expect resistance."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Aight, so Devi gets tagged into a few Model UN group chats and she was suddenly Marty's people now?? Nah, family is jokes these days.)</i>
</p><p>But then she basically single-handedly saved Becca's college app. And after that there was the whole deal with her friends and the pool and her mom...</p><p>And the thing was, it wasn't even that good a kiss.</p><p>Definitely not top ten material. Maaaybe upper teens, low twenties, if he was being generous. Coach T. was serious about analytics, and Paxton was starting to find it useful for situations far afield from swim practice. Like evaluating his history of fooling around in an entirely neutral and constructive way after the mother of the girl he kissed calls him an over-sexed-under-learned idiot.</p><p>So Paxton was being totally objective. And he wasn't lying when he told Becca he kissed a lot of girls. And Trent Harrison. They made out a ton the summer before high school. <i>To practice</i>, obviously. How does anyone get good at anything? As a high-performing student athlete, Paxton knew about regular, sustained, training. The reach over, the chin turn, the one-handed shirt remover — they mastered it all, in a safe, mutually-supportive environment.</p><p>Point was, Devi was alright. She was weird, but in a kinda cool way. The kissing was adequate. He'd had better. But also worse. Paxton wanted to be a good guy. He didn't want to be stupid. Plus, it had been rude of him to brush her off like that. </p><p>No, worse than rude. Unkind. </p><p>He had been unkind.</p><p>It wasn't Devi's fault her mom never got the chance to learn how to chill out. But it wasn't too late for Devi to become Dr. Vishwakumar, the brain surgeon who played hackysack and held potlucks for Oakland Moms 4 Housing rather than Dr. Vishwakumar, the brain surgeon with 3 ulcers calling the cops on Moms 4 Housing. He was guilty of passing on seriously bad vibes.</p><p>Paxton thought it over, checked in with Becca, and punched in Wisteria Lane on Google Maps. They can hang out, if Devi was into it. Kissing practice? She could definitely use some. </p><p>It was what it was and may the chips fall. Or whatever. Either way he was headed to the pool later and the newest batch of edamame-trail mix was bomb. He should hit up Ojiisan for the recipe. <i>Hashtag Sansei represent.</i> It was all good.</p><p>=====</p><p>Things were going so good. Paxton had two tiktoks make it to the For You page in the same week. During practice Coach T. took him aside specifically to compliment him on how much time he was shaving off his splits. If Paxton kept it up, he would make it to Section and maybe even State. Coach T.'s words. Not his. And last, but not least, Shapiro gave him the first A+ he had ever gotten in any history class ever. Even if it was mostly due to Trent and Devi's hard work. Okay. Mostly Devi's. Speaking of. </p><p>Lil D and him were back in business. </p><p>By business Paxton meant he received two thumbs up emojis, a few gifs of Ryan Lochte snapping his grills, and a pdf about muscle mechanics by the kinesiologist Coach T. once called "a lily-livered swindler cheat."</p><p>Devi's grasp of competitive swimming was a bit superficial. But she was making an effort. And he appreciated it when his homies did that. Trent and Marcus came to almost all his meets and even some practices. Especially when they were co-ed. </p><p>So, really, everyone was chill. Friends showed up for each other. That was the definition of friendship.</p><p>For instance, when Devi and that Gross kid showed up together in history holding hands, Paxton felt like a great friend, or maybe a proud parent. Probably. Plot-twist, but good, right? Like when Becca learned to read way faster than his parents were expecting. But also like how the method Becca learned to read was ripping out the words on posters around the house. Which were mostly his. Of his favourite swimmers. One letter at a time.</p><p>He just wished Gross got the memo that he was now Paxton's large adult son. Anyone would think a kid with a GPA that high could figure it out already, but Paxton knew better. It was one of those inverse correlations Ms. Sung wouldn't shut up about in stats.  </p><p>Two days in and Gross was still giving him the evil eye. And since they were in the same history class, that was a solid hour every day. Paxton didn't know what other people wanted to get out of high school, but for him, this much negative energy was seriously not it. So he got Trent and Marcus together on Wednesday and cornered Gross after class.</p><p>"Can you relax, Gross? I'm not gonna get in the middle of your chess club mating ritual."</p><p>"But Coyote Girl is our bro..." Trent did the v-finger eye I'm watching you thing.</p><p>"So if you hurt Devi Vishwakumar..." and Paxton did the finger across the throat thing.</p><p>"Can I go now?" Gross did not look impressed. "Fabiola and Eleanor already did this routine and Gears Brosnan is way more intimidating than you guys. No offense." </p><p>Yes, offense. A lot, offense. "Marcus," Paxton called. And Marcus came around the corner and threw a rugby ball at Gross's bad-weird lumpy head and Gross jumped and legit screamed and ran away. It was more gratifying than Paxton thought it would be.</p><p>Anyway, the important take-away was that everyone respected each other and balance was restored. He didn't want to disappoint Cousin Marty, but real life wasn't tv.</p><p>It was all so good, so amazing, that on Friday night when Paxton Hall-Yoshida went to Alyssa Munroe's house party intending as usual to be the designated driver, he got hammered and woke up falling out a hammock with the worst hangover he had in, like, at least 5 months.</p><p>His head was pounding, he could feel carb sludge starting to collect on his thighs, his breath tasted like vodka, eggs, and Redbull, but he still inched back on the 405 ASAP because he was supposed to drive Becca to Old Navy. </p><p>Which was a dumb idea because of course she took one look at him when he finally made it home and cancelled her shift.</p><p>Paxton just wanted sibling solidarity and maybe some hash browns, but Becca was all about "keeping it 100" and getting him to "face facts" about how he "totally blew it." So he went back to the garage with a bottle of Gatorade to die in peace. Was there any point in staying alive if his only sister wouldn't stop clowning him during his most vulnerable moments?</p><p>Becca came in later with two plates of hash browns. Paxton was going to be in so much trouble with Coach T, but maybe life was not so bad when his favourite sister was bundling him up in a blanket burrito and they were streaming Avatar episodes until they both fell asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lil nervous about this! the first long thing I've written in yrs and it's... p off-kilter. lemme know what you think :)</p><p>bonus: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTLePdT1u8WP1-Mzfl9BoLXjkKgtMoAWy">my ever-growing in2deep season 2 pining paxton playlist</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That Gross kid was the wooorrst. See — Gross. Even his own name agreed.</p><p>Paxton couldn't figure out what Devi saw in him. Sure, there was the whole love/hate thing, and long-running rivalries were pretty dope. Like how Zoe wanted to be a marine biologist and study things in water, and he swam in water. So they were always keeping each other sharp about who was more pro-water. It was great. Her mermaid impression was really sexy.</p><p>Their competitions was chill though — who killed it on the water-drinking tiktok challenge... (him, obviously) who spent more hours underwater... (Zoe's internship at the Caltech salt-water research pool was lowkey giving her an edge) — and definitely did not involve sending murder surveillance robots after people, or faking relationships.</p><p>To be fair, it wasn't 100% accurate to blame Gross for the second thing, because fake dating Paxton was becoming a Devi specialty. </p><p>They weren't hanging out much these days, so he was a bit surprised to see her pull up on her scooter in the parking lot of Gleson's like she was waiting for him.</p><p>"Hey, Paxton!" </p><p>"Lil D!" They stopped to do a few socially-distant feet bumps.</p><p>"So, I heard about your grandfather. I'm really glad he recovered."</p><p>"Yeah, he still has trouble walking, which is a bummer," Paxton said. "He had to moved in with us."</p><p>"Nice," she replied. "I mean not nice he has complications, obviously," she added quickly. "Nice you get to spend more time with him." </p><p>He thought about it. "I guess. Sucks big-time I'm not home that much though. My family's usually pretty chill, but my mom got hit with a 'Rona-layoff, so I'm doing what I can." Paxton held up a few shopping bags. "Like with training, I gotta schedule my runs around Mrs. Harrison's grocery pick up. You wanna get going with me?"</p><p>"For sure," Devi said, and hopped back on her scooter. "But isn't it weird that Trent's mom randomly pays you to do whatever?" </p><p>"Nah, bro. Trent's the best for getting me this in with his mom. She pays way better than Uber... Or Ubereats, or JustEats, or Foodora..." Paxton laughed. "You're probably not here to learn about apps, cause the last time you ambushed me was, like, a surprise sex proposal."</p><p>"Hah! So funny story..." </p><p>And Devi explained that she broke up with Gross because of his continued membership in the Young Republicans, and now she needed to incentivize Gross into quitting, or something.</p><p>"Can you believe it?" she said. "In 2020? In this economy? With those distribution of death tolls? Some people would call it a genocide and they're not necessarily wrong. I am not dating a genocide-enabler!" </p><p>"Not so sure about the g-word..." Paxton ventured.</p><p>"Quasi-genocide," Devi said. "Whatever. I just need to piss Ben off enough by dating you that he quits the club and comes groveling. Full of apologies and begging me to take him back." Devi sounded really pleased with herself. </p><p>Paxton didn't think there was anything to be pleased about. He wasn't exclusive with Zoe or anything but he wasn't gonna ditch her just to make Gross a nominally better person.</p><p>"Of course we wouldn't actually be dating," Devi said. "You don't even have to say or do anything. Ben sees us hanging out on social media, assumes the worst, freaks out, and repents." Devi was definitely beaming behind her mask. "It's perfect."</p><p>It seemed like the opposite of perfect. "I don't know, Devi."</p><p>"I mean, he going to cave eventually," she explained. "Ben's not totally evil. But there's this fundraiser he's organizing that I need him to sabotage and fake-dating you will definitely speed up the process. You're his second biggest nemesis. I only need one week, max. Look - he's already getting jealous." Devi pointed at something behind them.</p><p>Whoa, was that a - "Dude, he's got a drone following you around?"</p><p>"Not before now! But don't sweat it. Fabiola's on stand-by and Gears Brosnan has surface-to-air missiles ready to launch on my command."</p><p>This was getting intense.</p><p>"Uh," Paxton ran his hand through his hair, which was a difficult move to pull off with groceries, and adjusted his mask. He decided to tell Devi he was switching intervals for a sec, then sprinted ahead to buy himself a little more time. And some distance from the drone.</p><p>It was hard to tell which part of this was good-Devi-crazy and which was bad-Gross-crazy. Or if there was a difference because maybe it was now one big good-bad mishmash of Devi-Gross crazy. That possibility made Paxton want to take a nap, or jump in a pool and start doing laps. Except he usually wanted to do those things anyway so that didn't tell him anything. He considered calling Becca for backup. The only problem then was that he'd have to stop running, you know, away from the potential drone warfare.</p><p>"You have got to teach me how to do that," Devi said when her scooter caught up with him again.</p><p>"Interval training?"</p><p>"No," Devi paused. "This sounds crazy but you know how some people move like a perfect shot in slow-mo from a commercial of the thing you want most in the world, that if you had, your life would be so much better."</p><p>She glanced at him. "And a bomb synthpop soundtrack is going to start playing any second when you're in the same frame as them, but you're not really you. You're like the edgy music video version of yourself, the one you wished you could be all the time. Obviously you can't, because it's not real and it doesn't mean anything. It's a fantasy to sell shampoo." She cleared her throat. "Some people are just really good at moving in their body."</p><p>Paxton didn't know what to say.</p><p>"Never mind, I'm being a total weirdo. Forget I asked." Devi turned abruptly and almost fell off her scooter. "I have to buy something here. See ya!" </p><p>She had literally swerved into a spare lot, one that had probably been used as the site of a mobile testing centre earlier that year. There were masks and gloves littered everywhere. He thought about following Devi, to make sure she knew where she was going. She was slowing down by the chain-link fence at the far end of the lot. Maybe Paxton was imagining it but he was starting to hear that dumb drone.</p><p>"You do you, Vishwakumar," he had once told her what now felt like a long time ago. </p><p>Paxton jogged on. </p><p>He actually did know what Devi meant, maybe. He had swims where everything fit together like a dream he woke up from once he got to the finish line. They weren't necessarily the races he won or got his best times in. In reality, results sometimes came from having had to force it, fighting and gasping the whole way. But Paxton would never have stuck with swimming if it was all choking on water, even if he was still winning. The feeling of flying effortlessness had been everything. It was the best high, when everything in the world and him in it made perfect sense. Although, if he really thought about it, it was just an illusion. Ugh, this was some heavy shit. </p><p>And then for no reason at all, Paxton remembered the time last fall when he drove Devi home from Ben Gross's birthday party. She smelled like a pool. She was wearing his sweats. He recalled very clearly there was barely any traffic. He only needed one hand for the steering wheel. He had lightly brushed against her hair, not long enough to tell if the chlorine had made it slightly crunchy, the way his hair sometimes dried.</p><p>Paxton dropped off Mrs. Harrison's lamp chops and sent a quick text.</p><p>
  <i>hey babe, coyote girl dumped her ex cause he's a douche and wants to make him jealous by hanging out with me. you good?</i>
</p><p>A few seconds later he got a seashell emoji, a mermaid emoji, and a cat with heart eyes emoji. Zoe was so chill.</p><p>=====</p><p>It was a weird week. Good. But weird. </p><p>
  <i>first stop: Malibu!!!<br/>
me and the girls are going tomorrow<br/>
you in?<br/>
I'll totally pay for gas<br/>
and an hourly rate higher than Mrs. Harrison 🙃<br/>
seriously tho I know it's actually a big time committment and you have a lot going on so I don't want to be presumptuous. no disrespect to Trent's mom<br/>
or you<br/>
Electromyography in the four competitive swimming strokes: A systematic review.pdf </i>
</p><p>There was double-texting, and then there was Devi-texting.</p><p>What Paxton thought was going to be a girls' trip to Malibu turned out more specifically to be a girls' trip to the beach where Devi scattered her dad's ashes. </p><p>"Don't worry, today is not going to be a downer," Devi stressed.</p><p>"We do it all the time," Eleanor piped up from the backseat. "Think of it like Thelma and Louise, but with a heart attack not murder. And instead of driving off the Grand Canyon, you're driving us into a space of well-intentioned healing."</p><p>Okay, bit of a stretch, but he could work with it. They made another pit stop to pick up Fabiola and Eve, and they were off. </p><p>It was too windy to wear masks. Fabiola and Eve stayed in the jeep to have a long argument over the risk factors of potential viral loads having a wider, but more dispersed distribution. Or so they said. Paxton walked with Devi and Eleanor to the edge of the water. </p><p>"By the way," Eleanor said, "Paxton, I never apologized for the time I called you racist for recognizing my mom."</p><p>"Nah, it's all good," he shrugged. "Funny thing is the reason I know her is cause my mom forced me to do those APA Heritage Club galas —"</p><p>"— that my mom directed," Eleanor finished. "Oh my god. That's so embarrassing." </p><p>"They weren't so bad," Paxton said. But Eleanor was shaking her head and backing away like she was considering walking straight into the waves. For Devi's benefit, he tried to explain what the whole deal was.</p><p>"It was kind of like your Indian festival. But a lot of the kids and parents weren't knowledgeable about our own cultures because we'd been in America for so many generations. So it was an opportunity to learn and get in touch with our heritage. We all did little performances."</p><p>"Shut up!" Devi said. "Is there video evidence of this? Did you guys play instruments? Or sing? Or dance?!"</p><p>Eleanor groaned. "It was a terrible scandal. Joyce was in charge of choreographing a performance with music and dancing inspired by elements of different Asian and Pacific American traditions. Then one year she got bored, and just lifted material from her favourite musicals like <i>South Pacific</i> and <i>Flower Drum Song</i>."</p><p>Paxton laughed. "My mom always loved it. It was the highlight of her social calendar. She was devastated when your mom left."</p><p>"I'm sure the shame and stress from the discovery of plagiarism contributed to her decision to leave California for off-off Broadway." Eleanor looked thoughtful. "But on the bright side, I could have never developed into the actor I am today without that trauma of abandonment. So maybe it was all for the best."</p><p>Later, when Fabiola and Eve joined them, Devi lit some incense and gave everyone flower petals to throw into the ocean. And at each other. Then they all spent some time howling together, because of the coyote thing, even if it hadn't really been her dad.      </p><p>"You're doing it wrong, Paxton." Devi said.</p><p>Paxton stared at her incredulously. "Bro, there is no wrong way to howl. Back me up on this, guys."</p><p>"Nuh-uh," Devi insisted. "It's not Auwooooooo! That's a wolf. There has to be more barking. Right, Fab?"</p><p>"Exactly," Fabiola agreed. "Should be... Auuuuwowowo!"</p><p>"Auuuuuuuwowowooo!" Devi howled back.</p><p>"Y'all gotta yip more," Eve said.</p><p>"Eleanor?" Paxton asked.</p><p>"Gonna have to dissent," she replied after a moment. "I'm Team Paxton on this. It's all about the therapeutic judgement-free howling."</p><p>"Auwoooooo!"<br/>
"Auuuuwoawoawoa!"<br/>
"Auuuuwowowowoooo"<br/>
"Auwoooo!"<br/>
"Aurrrf Aurrf Auwooooo!"</p><p>Paxton looked at Devi. She was laughing. The breeze coming off the ocean whipped her hair about her. Paxton reached over and tucked a strand behind her ear. He needed to keep his skill set fresh. Zoe's hair was starting to get too long for this kind of move.</p><p>"Hey! No face-touching!" Fabiola called out. Paxton shoved his hands in his pockets, but Devi just laughed. </p><p>On the drive back, when the others had fallen asleep, Paxton decided it was time to break it to Devi that her swimming resources kinda sucked.</p><p>"But I sent you so many pdfs," she protested.</p><p>"I know." He couldn't help smiling. "My phone is running out of space."</p><p>Devi got out her phone and started flicking through their message history. "C'mon, there had to be something that was good."</p><p>Paxton shook his head. "Nope. Not really."</p><p>"Aw man, all this time you were just humouring me?" She sounded genuinely disappointed.</p><p>"Don't beat yourself up," Paxton said. "Swimming is its own intense world. Like, for every wacky Belarussian training regime you get off google, Coach T. has two encyclopedias worth of competing theories and very strong opinions about all of them."</p><p>"Seriously?"</p><p>"You know I get up at like 5 am every day during swim season, right?" Paxton sighed. "If Coach T. had his way, I'd have an implant that alerts him the second a single drop of alcohol enters my system. At this point, he has my life micro-managed down to 20 minute chunks."</p><p>Devi laughed. "That's pretty hardcore. Should I write him a thank you note for allowing you to go on this field trip?"</p><p>"You know what," he pretended to consider it. "Nah, you're off the hook. It's all cool. I'll do my sets when we get back. And uh..." Paxton drummed the steering wheel and shifted in his seat. "I wasn't totally joking about Mrs. Harrison paying well. Things are..." He cleared his throat. "It's, um, really cool you're being considerate." </p><p>"Oh man, totally. <i>Everything</i> is —" She gestured vaguely, trying to encompass the everything. "It's crazy. There's a pandemic. So many people are dying, the economy is collapsing, and we're just supposed to..." Devi gestured again.</p><p>"Yeah, we're going through the motions, but nothing feels real," Paxton said slowly. "My parents wouldn't let Rebecca attend fall semester. She's just stuck at home, furious about it. And Ojiisan — my grandpa — isn't doing so hot. It's not only that he can't walk well, or whatever. His lungs are permanently messed up." </p><p>Paxton swallowed. It's like once he started talking he couldn't shut up. "He's taking the changes in his life pretty hard. He was a competitive swimmer too, when he was young. It's how I got into it. He used to drive me to all my meets." This was stupid. No one needed to hear this. "He was so active. He lived by himself. He cooked. He did laps at the rec center every day, and now he can't even go in because of the chlorine. Being around him now..." He glanced down and saw that Devi had one hand on his leg. A really good, solid comforting hand. He rested his fingertips on the back of her hand for a second, breathed, and then moved his hand back to the steering wheel.</p><p>"He must be really proud of you," Devi said quietly.</p><p>Paxton didn't say anything for a few minutes. "California is the swimming Mecca of the US," he finally responded. "So if I'm placing well here, I guess I'm doing alright." He paused again. 'Ojiisan was really good though. He got recruited by UC Berkeley back in the day." </p><p>"Is that where you want to go?" Devi asked.</p><p>It took him a while to answer. "That was the dream," he said. "They had actual Olympians on their team. But it's like, is there even going to be the Olympics again?" Paxton looked at Devi, who shrugged. "Right?" he continued. "School's gonna get cancelled again any day now. Who knows, college might not even be a thing anymore."</p><p>"There is no way, in hell, college will cease existing," Devi said with increasing volume.</p><p>Everyone in the backseat woke up. Devi had a good holler. </p><p>=====  </p><p>Paxton never considered tailgating a swim meet, but Devi was proving that he just lacked the imagination.</p><p>Two hours before the races, she showed up in the parking lot with Trent in a black lycra bodysuit, and plastic wings and an antenna headband. Trent just said, "Coyote girl's a cricket now." </p><p>"Yeah bro," Devi said. "Because we're the Sherman Oak Crickets. And..." she bobbed her antennae towards the car, "I have another surprise."</p><p>Paxton eyed Trent who put up his hands in surrender. "Bro, nothing to do with me. I was just the driver."</p><p>Paxton walked over. Ojiisan was waving at him from the front seat of Mrs. Harrison's corvette. Paxton waved back. He went to say hi and to make sure the oxygen kit was set up properly. </p><p>"You're not supposed to be outside, Ojiisan," he tried to tell him. "Does dad even know you're here?" Ojiisan waved him away. </p><p>"Don't sweat it," Devi was saying. "Trent's gonna livestream everything and I'll stay in the parking lot and watch with Ojiisan."</p><p>This was a lot. He wasn't sure how to handle it. Paxton left Devi and Trent with Ojiisan to look for Zoe. It was possibly too much. </p><p>Zoe was exactly where he left her, sitting on the hood of his car. She had met this super genius at the symposium she went to on the weekend who was, like, unbelievably good with octopuses. In between telling him about the tentacle handling techniques she was learning, she led him through a guided meditation from an app on her phone. After the third go-around Zoe patted him on the shoulder. "Babe, I think you're good to go."</p><p>He checked on the others again before he went in to change. Devi and Trent were laughing at something Ojiisan was saying. </p><p>"Your Ojiisan is adorable," Zoe said. </p><p>Yeah, definitely too much for him to deal with. Paxton ducked inside. Last year, and all the years before that, Ojiisan would come by the house in the mornings before meets. He brought breakfast, post-race snacks, and a little something for Becca so she wouldn't feel left out. They'd chill for a while and then Ojiisan would clasp his hands, punch him in the shoulder, whatever, tell Paxton Hall-Yoshida that he was ready for the race. And Paxton was. </p><p>Today, like most days now, he left the house before Ojiisan woke up. </p><p>Swimming was swimming was swimming. Paxton was a swimmer. Swimmers swam. At meets, during practice, in their heads, for the elusive fantasy of it. Paxton swam. For a while, nothing mattered.</p><p>Coming back out, he could hear Devi leading a chant. "PECS! PECS! PECS!" It was kind of cute how she was still trying to give him a nickname.</p><p>"Guys, guys," Paxton interrupted. "Break it up. Party's over."</p><p>"And we killed it!" Trent yelled, running up behind him. It led to another round of cheering. Then loudspeakers were calling on people to maintain appropriate physical distancing and disperse. That was that. Who knew how many more meets there were going to be. How any of it was going to work.</p><p>Dropping Devi off, Paxton thought he should set something straight. "FYI, pretty sure my name is Paxton, not Pexton."</p><p>"Oh my god," Devi said. "It's called creativity, okay? In addition to being more descriptive, and accurate."</p><p>"Oh yeah? What do you mean?" Paxton asked.</p><p>Devi started stammering. "Well, it's just that you obviously —" Then she saw his face and rolled her eyes. "Nice try, Adonis. Fishing for compliments is not a good look." Devi slammed the car door. "Later skaters."</p><p>He googled it. Guy really skimped on leg-day. Couldn't be him.</p><p>"Nice, creative girl," Ojiisan said. "You should make her your girlfriend too."</p><p>"Thanks for the input," Paxton muttered.</p><p>Ojiisan hit him in the shoulder with the handle of his cane. "Watch your attitude." </p><p>"Ow!" Paxton yelped. "That hurts!"</p><p>Both of them were smiling.</p><p>=====</p><p>As Devi had predicted, Ben resigned from his presidency of the Sherman Oaks Young Republicans by Friday and shortly after, Devi posted a boomerang of her and Gross making out in front of a burning car. A few weeks later the chairs of both the California Young Dems and the California Young Republican Federation were somehow indicted for grand theft auto and insurance fraud. </p><p>Paxton <i>did not</i> get drunk, or a tattoo, or do anything at all impulsive, or out of character. He was beyond that kind of stuff now. He told Becca this, but she just looked at him pityingly. Not that there was much <i>to do</i> once everyone returned to lockdown, school switched to online classes again, and all the meets got postponed until January.</p><p>Devi and Paxton were back to swapping emoji reacts once in a while. She also rewrote the last third of his recruitment application letter — "see, college <i>will</i> exist" — after she found out he was gonna use Trent's idea of repeating "Black Student-Athlete Lives Matter" to bulk up the word count.</p><p>"Trent said a kid got into Harvard this way. Plus, it's provocative. It's gets the people going."</p><p>"Trent's an idiot and that kid is corny as fuck. Anyway, I owe you one." </p><p>Paxton didn't think she did but he wasn't going to turn down free Zoom tutoring from Devi Vishwakumar. She had some hilarious backgrounds.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>black lycra cricket outfit dedicated to Leelee Sobieski's iconic prom costume in <i>Never Been Kissed</i>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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